Once again Dr. Sheila is smiling when she comes into the examining room. I feel good. My test results are good. Neutrophils are normal (3.6). I have the option of seeing Dr. Sheila one last time for a routine check at two years and I take it. After that I will be checked by my family doctor. However, should anything seem amiss either with my test results or how I feel I will be in to see Dr. Sheila immediately.
Once again there is a surprisingly emotional release of stress for both Cass and I. For some reason the edge of this anxiety does not seem to get dull with time. Not yet anyway.
We treat ourselves to lunch at Zambri’s and dinner at Brasserie L’Ecole. The next routine check will be in November. We have our fingers crossed in hopes that November will bring us two years of remission.
“Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” WS
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In prep for my 20 month lymphoma check, Cass takes me to the Royal Jubilee Hospital outpatient lab at 7am to get my blood taken. Afterward we go to Pure Vanilla for coffee and scones and now I’m back to work for the day. The appointment with Dr. Sheila, my oncologist, will be this Friday morning so I’ll post my results at that time. Let the pre-test anxiety begin.
I’m talking about anxiety in the previous paragraph but I have to admit that there are now days and even weeks when I “forget” that I had HL. The human brain is a wonderful thing. For a year my thoughts were completely occupied with cancer… my treatment, my prognosis, its affects on my loved ones and my professional career, etc. The changes in attitude towards my life and what it means remain with me… but the worry about the cancer… rightly or wrongly… is largely diminished and often absent.
I am “expecting” to be NED (no evidence of disease) this Friday morning. This is a good thing I suppose… but it will also be a huge disappointment if Dr. Sheila comes in and says, “Tom, there are a few of your blood test results that concern me. There’s nothing to worry about at this point but we’ll need to do some further tests to make sure that everything is still going well.” Ech. But… like I said… I’m not expecting that.
So, at least until Friday, we will return to the life that was previously scheduled for this time slot.
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